Yes. [The word slips out before he can stop it, spills into the air unplanned. He chases after it, tries to cover it with an apology.]
I'm sorry, you don't need to worry about me, I'll-- [he'll what? Nothing. He won't figure something out, he won't be fine.
So he changes tacks, tries to explain. She's a stranger. She shouldn't be here. She's just being kind and he's always clawed at people like that, always dragged them down to his level.]
That's okay. I know what that kind of thing feels like.
[Because it hurts. Sometimes when she thinks about the people she's lost, those who she'll surely lose as time goes on, the pain and agony some of them have gone through in the last month-
She already knows. There's no reason to protect her. No point in doing so.]
But you can hide if you want. That's okay to do too.
[Literally, in the sense he can use his words to cover up his problems. She won't force him to talk. ]
Thank you. [He always wants to hide. He's always tried to hide. But since the Carnival, since the changes to his mind, it's getting harder to do that without acknowledging it.]
... Did you still want to tell a joke? I'll listen, even if I can't promise that I'll laugh.
It's not okay. [He says, quiet as his claws tighten around the stone. It's an oddly easy admission, just slipping out like that. It's easier, somehow, when it's just a voice.]
[The admission is a surprise. It's not unwelcome in the slightest-it had been wearing on the tip of his tongue and she's shocked it didn't come out sooner.
But it's there now-hanging in the air above them and she-]
Don't. [She can't come. He can't take this and turn it into an actual inconvenience for her, can't let her come out looking for him and waste her time and energy on something he should be able to deal with himself. He can't be that selfish. He can't take his pain and shove it off onto someone else.]
[No. No, he doesn't want that. He doesn't want her to come and find him, doesn't want someone to see him this shaken and hurt. It's going to take so much effort to pull himself back together, to keep his tone gentle and hold a quiet, polite expression on his face. He can't--]
If you really want to, I won't stop you. [He can't refuse a request like that, something innocent and hopeful, it would hurt her if he tried to shut this down. He doesn't want to hurt people who are just being kind. He can't do that to someone (not again).]
Do you know the mana pool by the... the tree houses? I can meet you there.
[It's a place she used to visit. Back when there was a surly man holing up in one of the homes, with a couple cats that loved him dearly. Back when she would lay up there on particularly hot days or make grass whistles under the shade of the tree.
She used to go there. It's familiar enough that the quiet 'mhm' ccomes out of her mouth before anything else. It'll be easy to hide him there.]
[He considers not showing up. It would be easy. Just don't meet at the agreed-on location, just stay hidden and never let anyone find him ever again.
But that's childish, it's selfish. Treating her like that would be beyond cruel, and Yukio... people have always said he's kind, he's gentle, he's not the sort of person who would hurt someone who tried to help him.
That's the reputation he has to keep.
So he shows up at the mana pool, makes sure he looks presentable, takes a few seconds to throw some water at his face and try to snap himself out of this mood that threatens to crush him. A smile, but it says stay away instead of any kind of good humor. But he knows how to smile like that, to shove everything that aches away inside himself and present some kind of face to the world that people will accept.]
Hello. I'm sorry you felt like you had to come all this way.
[The importance of doing this isn't lost on her. Even if the pain in his voice wasn't evident over the stone, she would come here, try to meet with him, maybe talk with him for awhile.
It's okay if he wants to hide, and she'll help him do it, but he doesn't need to be alone.]
I know where to hide you here. You have to follow me.
[And away she goes. Ambling ahead until she reaches the edge of Ammy's garden, near an area where the vegetables are growing tall enough to hide someone. She practically jumps into the leafy mess, taking a leap of faith that nothing's horrible in here, before shoving her hand out to get his attention.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I'm sorry, you don't need to worry about me, I'll-- [he'll what? Nothing. He won't figure something out, he won't be fine.
So he changes tacks, tries to explain. She's a stranger. She shouldn't be here. She's just being kind and he's always clawed at people like that, always dragged them down to his level.]
If you try and help me, your heart will hurt too.
no subject
[Because it hurts. Sometimes when she thinks about the people she's lost, those who she'll surely lose as time goes on, the pain and agony some of them have gone through in the last month-
She already knows. There's no reason to protect her. No point in doing so.]
But you can hide if you want. That's okay to do too.
[Literally, in the sense he can use his words to cover up his problems. She won't force him to talk. ]
no subject
... Did you still want to tell a joke? I'll listen, even if I can't promise that I'll laugh.
no subject
[Apparently so!! She's filled with a newfound [determination] to make this happen somehow.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
Maybe there's an actual joke waiting in the wings?]
... Ren who?
no subject
[Was there ever a real joke hiding in her demon mind?? Unlikely.]
no subject
I'm sorry. I can't right now.
no subject
You don't have to say 'I'm sorry.' It's okay if your heart hurts.
no subject
no subject
But it's there now-hanging in the air above them and she-]
Do you want to hide?
no subject
He opens his mouth anyway.]
Yes.
no subject
[It's quiet, for the briefest moment, as she relies on her age old method of reaching out to his heart.
But that's impossible to do from here.]
Where are you?
no subject
Please, don't trouble yourself on my account.
no subject
[There's someone afraid, who wants to hide, and now that he's admitted it-that's impossible to ignore. He may not be able to hide on his own and she-
Knows all too well how important it is to hide when you're scared, when you're hurt-it helps.]
I can walk. That's very easy to do.
no subject
If you really want to, I won't stop you. [He can't refuse a request like that, something innocent and hopeful, it would hurt her if he tried to shut this down. He doesn't want to hurt people who are just being kind. He can't do that to someone (not again).]
Do you know the mana pool by the... the tree houses? I can meet you there.
no subject
She used to go there. It's familiar enough that the quiet 'mhm' ccomes out of her mouth before anything else. It'll be easy to hide him there.]
Okay, I'll come right now.
no subject
[He considers not showing up. It would be easy. Just don't meet at the agreed-on location, just stay hidden and never let anyone find him ever again.
But that's childish, it's selfish. Treating her like that would be beyond cruel, and Yukio... people have always said he's kind, he's gentle, he's not the sort of person who would hurt someone who tried to help him.
That's the reputation he has to keep.
So he shows up at the mana pool, makes sure he looks presentable, takes a few seconds to throw some water at his face and try to snap himself out of this mood that threatens to crush him. A smile, but it says stay away instead of any kind of good humor. But he knows how to smile like that, to shove everything that aches away inside himself and present some kind of face to the world that people will accept.]
Hello. I'm sorry you felt like you had to come all this way.
no subject
[The importance of doing this isn't lost on her. Even if the pain in his voice wasn't evident over the stone, she would come here, try to meet with him, maybe talk with him for awhile.
It's okay if he wants to hide, and she'll help him do it, but he doesn't need to be alone.]
I know where to hide you here. You have to follow me.
no subject
He lets her take the lead, follows politely behind. Tries not to think too much or feel anything.]
no subject
This way, this way!
no subject
You're sitting in someone's dinner.
no subject
[That's not the PROBLEM REN.]
no subject
Yukio steps in after her, kneels in the dirt and lets the overgrown garden close up around them both.
He doesn't feel any better, but he wasn't expecting to. It's just plants and dirt and a girl he barely knows taking a sympathetic interest in him.]